🔒 PRIVACY POLICY 🔒

📄 The Short Version

💻 The Long Version (Because Lawyers Exist)

1. Information We Collect

None.

Slow Social does not collect, store, transmit, or process any personal information. The app operates entirely on your device. There are no accounts, no logins, no analytics, no tracking pixels, no cookies (this isn't a website from 1997... well, actually this website IS from 1997, but the app isn't).

2. App Detection (LSApplicationQueriesSchemes)

Slow Social uses iOS's canOpenURL API to detect which social media apps are installed on your device. This is how the app knows which icons to show you.

Important facts about this detection:

• The detection result exists only in memory for the duration of the app session
• No list of your installed apps is ever saved to disk
• No list of your installed apps is ever transmitted anywhere
• No list of your installed apps is ever shared with anyone
• When you close the app, the detection result is gone forever
• We couldn't send this data even if we wanted to — the app has no network code, no server, no API, no backend, no database, no cloud, no nothing

3. Audio

The app plays modem sounds. Locally. On your phone. The sounds do not contain hidden data. They are just sounds. Terrible, wonderful sounds.

4. In-App Purchases

The app offers one optional in-app purchase ("T1 Premium Line"). This is processed entirely through Apple's StoreKit framework. We do not receive or store any payment information. Apple handles all of that. Take it up with them.

5. Third-Party Services

Slow Social uses zero third-party services. No analytics (Firebase, Amplitude, Mixpanel — none of them). No crash reporting. No ad networks. No social SDKs. The app is a standalone binary that plays sounds and opens URLs. That's it.

6. Children's Privacy

We do not knowingly collect information from children under 13 because we do not collect information from anyone. The app is rated 4+ and contains no objectionable content unless you consider modem sounds objectionable (which is fair).

7. On-Device Storage

Slow Social stores some data locally on your device to power its features. None of this data is ever transmitted anywhere. Here's what lives on your phone:

To be extremely clear: all of this data stays on your device. There is no server. There is no cloud. There is no sync. The widget data is shared between the main app and widget extension via an App Group container — that's two processes on YOUR phone talking to each other. Nobody else is invited to this conversation.

8. Data Retention

All data listed above lives on your device until you delete the app. When you delete Slow Social, it all goes with it. We retain exactly zero bytes of your data on our end, because there is no "our end." We don't have servers. We have a laptop and a dream.

9. Your Rights

Under GDPR, CCPA, and various other privacy regulations, you have the right to:

• Access your personal data — There is none.
• Delete your personal data — There is none to delete.
• Port your personal data — There is none to port.
• Object to processing — There is no processing to object to.

If you'd like a formal response confirming the above, we will happily email you a formal letter that says "We don't have any of your data" in as many languages as you'd like.

10. Changes to This Policy

If we ever change this policy, it will be to add more ways we say "we don't collect your data." The fundamental truth — that this app collects nothing — will not change. If it does, something has gone terribly wrong and we've been replaced by pod people.

11. Contact

If you have questions about this privacy policy (we're impressed, honestly), you can reach us at: